Relentless

ISBN: 9781849911931
Published: 2010
Pages: 104
Key Themes: post-natal depression, challenges of motherhood, family, humour, autobiographical

Description

Postnatal Depression or What…? Do I think I became depressed – probably, yes. I was not rigid or had any fixed plans and was actually quite relaxed about the whole affair. I was positive keen and energetic but struggled and can easily tell you that I found being a new mother one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

This book is aimed at working mothers and is about my own experience and highlights the points that I found amusing, traumatic and also how family, friends and professionals- including the group to which I belong – reacted. Through this book I would hope to prevent a new parent from feeling that isolation and despair which can develop when you feel that your own experience is the norm and that it is just you who cannot cope.

About the Author

Dramatic changes to the Betts' lifestyle had to be made after the birth of their son. This is a short narrative about my experience and I leave it to you to decide if this was post-natal depression

Book Extract

TRY TO GET TO EIGHT WEEKS HONEY!

A further two and a half weeks of five hours of broken sleep each night, some feeds lasting over an hour. If anyone else asks me what I’m doing today…I’ll swing for them!

I’m starting to drop things and now I’ve broken my favourite crystal vase—this is not good. In this fog of sleep deprivation the buzz of adrenaline is less easy to control and I become jittery and clumsy. It would be good to get to eight weeks honey, and then use the bottle in time for you going back to work. BACK TO WORK! …I can’t even think straight enough to add up the bills correctly.

I am finally broken when two out of three nights after feeding constantly since eleven, I get to sleep at 3 am and we are back up again at 5am for another feed. I know the baby is gaining weight and bonny but what about me—I’m a jibbering wreck—now I know all the good things about continuing but surely a time must come when common sense rules over research and current thinking. All I need is support. What good is a bonny babe without a bonny mother?

In the wee small hours when we are all alone, baby sleeping after feeding and me so tortured I cannot sleep, I sob and sob. I just want to get in the car and drive away to the hills to sleep in the peace and quiet. All sorts of wicked thoughts pass through my mind as I plan sleep. I decide then and there that I am going out to buy bottles and milk. The following night I have four hours solid, undisturbed sleep and then a further three!

I had turned the corner. I realised there was only myself who could help me.

For the first time in my life I bought a “how to do it” manual recommended by the friend of a friend. I became vigorous and determined in my search for self help books and realised what a plethora of literature was out there. Would it have got me through those early weeks? I do not know, I would have liked a book or someone to turn to in those dark lonely hours just for support. Some reassuring words that I was doing the right thing or that it was o.k. to do it differently.