What Will Other People Think?


Tom Clement

ISBN: 978-1-84747-686-9
Published: 2008
Pages: 350
Key Themes: psychosis, suicide, bereavement, alienation, inferiority complex, body dysmorphic disorder, social anxiety, depression, night terrors, relapse and recovery



Born an only child to a family with a traditional but outdated view to discipline, Tom spent his early years on the outskirts of London, before his family moved to a cottage in the countryside. After his father became interested in horseracing, it was decided that the family were going to move to Newmarket to follow his fathers dream of becoming a successful race horse trainer.

The idyllic life that his family hoped to pursue when they moved to Newmarket never happened, as they were betrayed by a colleague and lost their financial security. Becoming targets for people who had been wronged by the same person that deceived them.

As his world grew more uncertain, his mental health began to wain, and by the time his grandparents committed suicide, Tom was engulfed in a fully blown psychotic illness that led to him being sectioned when he was sixteen.

After finding a flaw in his psychotic delusions. Tom worked hard to regain some control of his life and integrate with the lifestyle of Newmarketís famous horseracing industry. Tom then embarked on a years long quest to fit in and be ĎnormalĎ. But ultimately the desire to fit in with everyone else and the pressures of trying to live up to other people expectations caused him to have a major relapse that threw his world in turmoil. This biography charts the progress if one young mans recovery from severe mental illness and touches on the damage that can be done from trying to live up to other peoples expectations.

About the Author

Tom currently resides in Newmarket, where he enjoys nature, illustration, listening to music, and singing songs he's written when nobody is listening. Hopefully one day he'll let you listen. You never know, stranger things have happened.

He's recently become involved with the local service user group, Suffolk User Forum (SUF) and believes that service user involvement is essential for maintaining and improving services for other people who experience mental distress.

Book Extract

Dear 1991

Itís ok Mum, thereís nobody there
A noise just caught you unawares
This is our home and we shouldnít be scared
But the things we have seen have made us beware

I know itís raining
I know youíre aching
I know that the bad men came back today
I know weíre not safe while dadís away
Yes Iíve checked the locks again

Iím sorry but I canít be quiet all the time
Thereís not a lot that escapes these eyes
I know that anger stops you from crying
You deserve better and so do I

I know I donít understand your pain
But that doesnít make mine go away
I wish that we could leave this place
Is it strength or shame that makes us stay

Dear 1991
You left my home undone
You never brought the sun
My mindís still in the dark
Dear 1991
I couldnít shake your touch
You taught me not to trust
And shaped the things to come

Itís ok Mum, I know you have plans
Iím all that you have, so Iíll do what I can
I promise you that I wont be bad
Like those men that hurt my dad

Youíre worried that Iíll stray
So Iíll be good today
Cos we canít see tomorrow
Weíll just get through today

I wonít ask for shoes while we canít afford food
I never understood what owning Nikeís prooves
Youíve got me and Iíve got Dad and you
Hopefully thatís enough to pull us all through

Iím being polite, but Iím crying
Iím going to bed early, but Iím crying
Iím doing my homework, but Iím crying
Iím not talking to strangers, but Iím crying
But through it all, Iím surviving

Itís ok Mum, Iíll be a good boy
Iíll be a good boy, but how do I be a good man
How will I support you if you donít let me stand
I canít see a future while Iím blinded by the past
Do you think one day you will let me decide who I am

I know the future is far away
And we have to struggle to get through today
I know thereís a reason for the way you behave
I love you mum and youíre not to blame
Itís just how we were played

The walls to which I was confined
Have not crumbled inside my mind
Iím bright but they block out my shine
I hope they will come down in time

Dear 1991
Iíve now passed 21
I donít know whatís become
Of a mothers dreams for her young
Dear 1991
Despite the mental scars
Iím made of stronger stuff
Than the minds of the corrupt.

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This product was added to our catalog on Thursday 28 August, 2008.

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