By Rebecca Parker
Key Themes: autobiography, mental health, suicide, family, anorexia
ALSO AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK
Angel Just-Rights tells of a plethora of mortifyingly unhealthy, demoralising, ritualistic and compelling behaviours that manifest deeply in a fragile life so touched by the world around her. This is an exclusive account, based on the remarkable and true story of Rebecca Parker (also known as Micci), the Protagonist and Author. Laugh! Shout! Cry, as we’re finally invited to join this incredible quest for freedom.
Delving into issues relating to everyday living such as dealing with strict family values, loyalty and devotion, the author intermittently riddles with her reader in efforts to gain the yearned-for rationality and reassurance she so desperately seeks. During chaotic deciphering, Parker encounters incongruence in evaluations as, how can implicitly pure intentions – living life selflessly protecting those you love – precipitate such devastating results? Parker gradually learns how coping in silence can cruelly fester, hastening devastating consequences: severe eating disorders (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia), post-traumatic stresses and flash-backs, self-harm and suicidal desires, problems with extreme over-exercise and increasing obsessions, rituals, distorted beliefs leading to incredibly debilitating episodes of low self-esteem, depression, hospitalisations, sectioning under the Mental Health Act and associated inequitable treatments enforced.
Triggers responsible for the evolution of the book – realisation into the debilitating extent at which broken down channels of communication, mixed with life experiences and ingrained individualistic personality traits, have been allowed in full strength and power to render one so weak – are explained by the author in her beginning Preface. The reader goes on to learn about the story of a child, whose voice is slowly lost to a world of secrets and confusion. The story swiftly unravels before the very eyes and ears of the reader. Perplexed at how her life is now, the author endeavours to perfect a sense of how it all went so terribly wrong and, defying all conceivable odds upon discharge from hospitals, this notoriously-resistant patient astonishes medical teams by managing to engender for herself a ‘safety’ within the four walls of an intense daily treatment programme she is required to attend. Parker adeptly juxtaposes this renewing trust – beginning in the routine world of ‘Day Care’ program – with the writing of her first volume of books. Conclusively, a powerful and surreal irony is brutally reinforced, thus bringing her first volume of books to a fulfilling and thought-provoking end.
Informative, entertaining, bitterly heart-rendering to the general reader, a silent sufferer’s solace, captivating and enlightening to friends, families and health professionals alike, a mindful motivator for all. This book is extremely vivid, striking, and exceptionally astute; a wholly enchanting and satisfying read, leaving you aching endearingly for more.
About the Author
REBECCA PARKER was born in Grenada, England in 1980. After judiciously burying a chain of perplexing life events experienced during childhood, Parker befell ill-fated focus to devastating emotional insurgences intercepting her early adult life with unforgiving fetid foray.
Sharing this unique collection of books, originally cathartic in aim, enables the author (Rebecca Parker) to offer even a strand of hope to any individual similarly searching for their own “only voice that is allowed”, to offer even a slice of solace to those continuing to hurt silently and alone and the disclosure of her story also aims to offer those enduring the last few years of this particular stretch of “illness” by her side – that is to say, its’ aim is also to offer her Dearly Beloved Family, excessively long-awaited answers and an opportunity to finally embark upon healing.
Reading and writing have always excited this new author, previous works winning recognition and Prizes for both short stories and poetry. But with her intense fears come overwhelming uncertainty, unconscious delaying and obstructive avoidance. Angel Just-Rights is honest, feisty, and delves unsparingly into a plethora of extreme matters concerning her own daily living, that is both pre and post diagnosis of mental illness. In deciding to share these ‘memoirs’, the author is fulfilling her mission: determinably upholding the duty given to her, to impart insight, understanding, encouragement, and a ray of hope unto others suffering silently. This voice enables Parker to do so, in using the safest, alas only means remaining.
Today, while continuing to battle the chaotic insurrections of mental illnesses, Parker lives and works in London where she dedicates her life to offering others just a sap of courage similar to that which has so fortunately been evoked in her own soul and thus reflected in the production of her first volume of books, Angel Just-Rights. An all-encompassing key to potential freedom, here arrives, the story of her life.
Knowing I find writing things down easier than speaking them, for the past two years I have intended to start and try to actually carry this task out in regards to matters that I, in no way want to, but recognise that I NEED to talk about, work through and understand in order to continue with a life in this world. All the time I spent away from Day Care i.e. in the evenings or at the weekends, was not providing me with a space to carry out this task and when I started at Day Care, I knew there was no way I would be granted a day off already, even if I said it was to work on ‘things’ as the request for a day off would most likely have been viewed as an ‘excuse’ to ‘get out’ of treatment and therefore to ‘miss’ a day of eating.
I had been feeling too depressed, however, in the evenings to be able to put my head into such a gear, and at the weekend, my Mum and I had agreed that my travelling home to be with her in Grenada as soon as possible on a Friday when I finish Day Care, would be the best plan for me at present and I knew I could not sit at home and face writing about ‘things’ while in the comfort of my Dear Family home and while seated with Dear Mum. I felt in order to concentrate, I needed to be alone with ‘things’ and when I am at home in Grenada, I want only to enjoy spending time with my poor Mum after everything I put her through in the last three years: after all those terrible train journeys in the windy, cold winter months where she forced herself through the snow and the rain in order to visit me in hospital and to be there for me when I Rebecca, her youngest so-called “daughter”, needed her most. I just cannot ever make anything up to her or repay her in any way imaginable and over this, Dear, Dear Mum, I will always feel distraught.
Thus, as I had not been in the right position to start facing “things”, for as long as I did not have to or want to, I was also finding it very hard to attend my outpatient therapy sessions on time, from one week to the next, or if at all. During these sessions, it was apparently beneficial to speak about “things” and I was subconsciously avoiding confronting anything that I felt uncomfortable with and yet I knew I had to speak, but I also could feel that my right time was looming, becoming ever so more imminent...Little did I know it would rear its ironically ugly head, in the form of Rebecca’s Key to freedom that had actually always been there? What had actually mattered, was choosing the RIGHT time to take it, and ensuring a trusted guide.
Aii-Understanding Natural Thinking Styles and Personality Traits:
Recognition; Acceptance; Allowance ...:
My Mum always tells me “you have a terrible tendency to go at things too much”, like the jigsaw I have been working through during my time at home at the weekends, I suppose. It was the jigsaw that my Mum was referring to on this most recent occasion. To explain simply: once I start a task, I need to do as much as possible to perfect the task, not daring to lose a second of time in stopping or in taking my attention away from the task at hand, even for a second, until I have no more time to allot to the task and it is completed and completed well. Before committing to a task, I must feel safe and certain in that it is EXACTLY the RIGHT time to do it and that I can do it well.
My Mum also always says to me “you let things slide”, “you leave everything until the last minute” and she warns me how “one of these days, it’ll just be too late!” Now I realise it is a natural thinking style of mine and I have trusted in it, or dangerously trusted a hope and chance in it, as being my most comfortable and productive way of working whether at school exams, music exams, competitions, university and right through my working and social lives. If I have something to achieve, or a task to carry out, or a place to go or friends to meet, of course I want to execute this straight away and of course I want to make it as good as possible, always having preferred to work alone and to produce something that is mine, always putting in all my effort, plus a little bit more, into every task and right away. After all, it has to all be perfect.
If I am committed to something, I have always prided myself in carrying it out to the best of my abilities. When the motivation and inspiration is there, when I am forced to and eager to get started – I am at least good at recognising this moment – I will enjoy becoming lost in the task at hand and making it my project to be proud of, no matter how big or small, until I have finished and am happy (happyish, as it can never be one hundred per cent perfect and I can never be satisfied with anything unless it is more, or better than perfect) with it and am pressed to show the results of my efforts, fearing them, believing them, knowing them never to be good enough, yet longing deep down inside that I have produced a passable piece of work / impression / performance. I work well under pressure and to time scales because until I know all my efforts have been exhausted and it is time to stop, I can never rest or be satisfied.
This product was added to our catalog on Thursday 16 December, 2010.