By Lisa Diallo
Key Themes: poetry, Avoidance Disorder, self harm, relationships, lack of self-worth, resilience
Everything that you read in this book is a moment in my life,
as you are probably familier with the facts that we all have our
ups and downs as our lives are a constant chain of experiences,
there are times when we can wonder if it is worth carrying on
due to relationship break ups, lack of self worth or even just the
our general day to day living,
and i hope that my experiences good or bad may help or guide or
even give other people a some hope that there is light at the end of
this book shall go through experiences that at some point we can
all relate to you, rejection, depression, relationship difficulties
loss of loved ones, children, and also the love that we often hold for
our families, but even the deceipt and uncaring way that some parents
and grandparents etc can also deliver,
and so i hope and pray that you have had fewer of these times than me
as all poems in this book are of situations that i have been in, love that
i had and lost, children that i bore and the ones i did not bare, and also
difficulties of losing my children my home etc
and most important of how i got through all of this as there are words
of comfort and support.
i have used poetry for the last 17 years to express my anger i
found that it helped me to write everything down what i was
feeling rather than punching out or harming myself,
and the fact that i then made it into poems gave me a great
sense of worth and admiration for myself,
and the fact now that i hope it shall help others is the biggest
reward i could get which makes all my experiences a little more
these poems are about me and my journey into adult life
they helped me through all the mental health issues which
have allowed me to be still standing today,
i hope that they shall help and inspire you too in your journey.
About the Author
My name is Lisa Diallo and I was born in Oldham just on the outskirts of Manchester in 1972.
I am at present living in Lincoln with my husband to be and my 4 children.
I started writing poetry as a release and comfort without even realising I could inspire other people.
Most of my later years have been spent looking after and raising my 4 children, who suffer with a.d.h.d. and autism, whilst still trying to deal with my own disorders: avoidance disorder and borderline personality disorder.
I have always had a love of writing and plan to continue to write and I hope this book may inspire and offer words of comfort to many others, and that that shall make all their experiences that little more worthwhile.
Feelings of loneliness is all that now fills my head,
Never to sleep or even just rest in my bed
Feelings of being unsure of what now fills the room or even what lays behind the closed door,
For my imagination is now running wild, hearing voices that are not
really there, then repeated memories of childhood dreams of
searching the streets to find my way home, and yet again I am
still alone for no presence it bares
Thoughts continuously going over in my mind avoidance not allowing me
any sleep to find,
And so the next day I shall be tired and weary,
Yet avoidance not allowing me to give in,
No it does not stop my concentration of thoughts and feelings of
insanity are all it has brought
And everyday is the same for me,
For I am lucky to be able to sleep, as soon as my eyes awake from my dreams,
My thoughts my actions before me do leap,
Trying to concentrate on any small thing, but yet again my mind wishes
to explore, causing my weary body to fall to the floor, for a
clear mind is all I now plead, I beg, I give in, as inside I scream
Rushing ahead of myself planning things for days to come
And it then only brings me the chance to worry about the things
That have yet not happened, the things I have yet not done,
And although my brain wishes to do all these things,
To my body it only brings weariness,
Desperation and pain and so I find, never to recover from my minds own self harm
A lifetime of confusions, making anger all thatís in control,
Lack of confidence and a big fear of change, and the biggest obstacle
to get my head around is that there is no one else to blame, are the
feelings Iím going insane
I can only describe at best itís like living in a foreign country, but
you never learn the language,
No understanding of what people may say? And for people with
Avoidance Disorder, this is something that I shall have to live
with every single day.
This product was added to our catalog on Wednesday 01 April, 2009.